The Name I Cannot Say
by setsuna22
Summary: Yuki is no longer alone and his greatest fear is no longer being wanted. It is being weak. As his health wavers, he worries that he will be abandoned  by the Giou clan,the zweilts and by Luka.  yaoi and mature in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Yuki rubbed his temples slowly, his blurred vision coming back to him in broken segments the colors streaming and running into a kaleidoscope of color like a butterfly's eyes. The dizzying trance almost made him sick as he fought off he vertigo. Rubbing his palms across his eyes in an effort to block out the light it felt like a scorching burn where his hands touched.

"my symptoms are getting worse." Yuki mumbled to himself. Soon he wouldn't be able to keep his secret from the other Zwelit guardians or from Luka.

Luka.

The name played across his mind the soft rounded vowls of his name working almost like a talisman aginst the pain. He couldn't let anyone know but espesially Luka. He breathed heavily in thru his nose and out thru his mouth.

He had finally found a purpose for his life and now he mattered to people. Being God's Light had given him an identity they needed him, and never would he allow them to see him for what he really was- the weak link. He had no power to fight and the one time he had erected the Holly Wall it had almost killed him. They had even started to fight more strategically in order to avoid getting wounded, the kills took longer and took a toll on the Zwelit's power themselves weakening them, making it more dangerous when a normal battle took twice as long. All in order to protect him, to keep him from having to use his power. One day they would realize how weak He really was someday someone would be hurt beyond his repair and they would hate him for it.

A shiver of fever rippled down his body and Yuki sighed softly rummaging through the drawer until he found some aspirin tablets careful not to rattle the bottle he took out two tables and swallowed them dry. Tsukumo theses past few weeks had been looking at him with odd looks on occasion, leading Yuki to wonder if God's Ears has heard him taking the tablets again and again and wondering why he had yet to see the Twilight Mansion Doctor. Another shiver crept up his body this time with fear. He couldn't allow his secret to be out.

If he did He might loose everything.


	2. Chapter 2

The day was turning out hotter than anyone had expected for fall. The leaves were a burnished gold and swayed in the heavy tree tops like an organic ocean, the soft ripples of air over the leaves sounding like the rushing shore, the sound was amplified as it echoed off the ancient walls of Twilight manner. Yuki was bent over in the vegetable garden, his back to Luka who stood like a sentential. Always mindful and attentive but more than any normal bodyguard ever would be.

His entire universe revolved around Yuki. Living for more than 1,2oo years as the pet to the Master of Hell seemed like nothing compared to the years of suffering after Yuki had died. When Muzuki, Yuki's Mother had given birth to him the Giou clan had been in a utter the Prophacy could not have perdeicted. Yuki his soft, gentle and beautiful Yuki had come back as a male.

To Luka after a milleium plus gender didn't matter, fate didn't matter, the will of God's and Devil's didn't matter. Like the North star his path was fixed on a direct line and someday when Yuki remembered who he had been their life would have a chance to continue. He would protect Yuki unlike last time and Yuki would be able to love him without fear with out the knowegle that in the end death was the only thing before them.

Only Yuki had never remembered and the war with Reiga while put on hold had not yet truly ended. Not being able to tell him what he felt, to touch him had created another personal Hell for Luka, always he burned alone.

"Luka?"

He blinked his quick-silver eyes losing their glazed look as they focused on God's Light. Yuki knelt in the damp earth with dirt clinging to him in loving patches, decorating his white shirt and embedded into the knees of his jeans. The rich gleam of strawberry blonde hair was tousled playfully by the wind.

"I didn't hear you."

Yuki smiled and Luka felt his heart constrict.

" I wondered if Toko-chan would like to make carrot cake with these." He held up the small stubby organic carrots in his hands. Toko along with everyone else within the Twilight Mansion would do anything Yuki asked for. As the light of God they obeyed him as a slave does a Master they felt the pulling crave to please him, but it was the selflessness Yuki possessed that made everyone so protective of him. He was in every sense the light of the and the Zwelit's and without that light they became lost in the darkness.

"I think she will." offering His hand out Luka slowly pulled Yuki to his feet, savoring the feel of Yuki's warm skin against His as he wrapped his larger hand around the blondes wrist feeling the thready pulse and the true burning fire of his skin. His heart constricted again but he made no comment as he slowly released Yuki and followed him silent into the house.

From the outside balcony the Dr of Twilight manner watched the two men disappear into the shadows of the house. Once he had asked Luka if he experienced the same emotion as humans or if they were different, since he was immortal Luka had only stared at him. It was in that moment he knew the answer.

A broken heat was always the same.


End file.
